peripheral vision

Today I was all grumbly when I headed out for my weekly stint at the Drop-In Centre. I thought about quitting, because it blocks my time in the middle of my Saturdays and cuts into my family time. Today is gorgeous and sunny, and I’d really rather hang with my boys. But I went, and I’m back into my usual enthusiasm for the place and for the time I spend serving coffee and lunch.

One of the men I’ve photographed was there, and I had prints in my bag to give him. But he was erratic and didn’t seem to really recognize me. He just talked about having to deal with the police and their threats of putting him in the local psychiatric facility. I’ve never seen him like that before. Obviously, he’s gone off his meds, and although I definitely don’t think psychiatric drugs are a cure-all, seeing him like this made me sad. Anyways, I didn’t give him the prints. I thought if he’d forgotten, seeing them in his current state of mind might upset him. I hope he’s able to get things sorted out soon.

More and more, I’m feeling like my drop-in pictures just aren’t doing it. I think they’re just not going deep enough. But because of the nature of the centre, the services it provides, and the transient nature of the population it serves, I can’t go any deeper while I’m actually there. I can’t capture the moments of community I see because people need to be assured that they can go there somewhat anonymously, without worrying about their pictures being posted on the Web. That’s why I make sure to not only get consent but to make sure the people I photograph understand that I will at least publish them on my website.

Anyways, I want to go deeper. I think I need to follow some of my friends home. So today I asked one of the first people I photographed if he would be willing to let me into his home. He understands the possibilities of photography as an art form, so he gets what I’m trying to do. He said he most definitely is willing, so expect to see some more photos of him here in the coming months. I expect it will take a while to get something up and going with him, but I’m kind of hoping it might become longer term.

I will still continue with occasional photographs of people who are willing there. But hopefully this other project will take some of the pressure and urgency away, so I can go back to pursuing the portraits a little more organically.

I was about to go off on a long and involved tangent, but instead I’m going to get outside and enjoy some of the 22-degree (Celsius) sunshine.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 18th, 2009 at 2:39 pm and is filed under Drop-In Centre Project, it IS all about me!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.