peripheral vision

photography by Kate Wilhelm

peripheral vision blog

because making photographs exposes as much about the photographer as the subject

Archive for the ‘books’ Category

cop-out

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Too busy obsessing over the Chelsea Hotel (and reading Chelsea Hotel* with stunning photographs by Claudio Edinger and written contributions by Arthur C. Clarke, William Burroughs, and other residents – it’s wonderful!) to write a proper blog post, so instead I give you another picture from Halloween that I didn’t post the first time around.

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Soon, I hope, I will write real content.

*I popped over to the university library today and sure enough they had the book I’d seen mentioned several times in my research yesterday. Funnily enough, though, it was in the hotel and food administration section, not the photography section.

update on my latest obsessions and NYC

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Once again it’s been too long since I blogged. My day job is insane right now, and it means I have very little mental space and energy for things photographic. I’ve also been trying to keep up with the books I have out of the university, without much success. The one book I’ve been really enjoying is Photography After Frank by Philip Gefter, former Picture Editor for NY Times. One of the reasons I’m enrolling in school next semester is that I really want to learn more about the history of photography, and the essays in this book are really all about that. I’m only about a quarter or a third into it, but I can confidently recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about the last 50 years of the medium.

I’ve also been obsessing over the purchase of a new (to me) camera. I’ve been noticing that the best portraits are often made with large format cameras, which require a very slow process to create a single image. I find working a digital SLR, especially for portraits, has pros and cons. It’s fast so you can capture actions and moments really well. But it’s also a big black machine that I have to have up to my face to get those moments. And I’m generally very impatient, so the speed suits me. But I want to slow down a bit, to become a bit more deliberate. And I want to have the ability to make pictures without a big black machine in front of my face. Also, I’ve been loving the square aesthetic lately, and although I can crop my digital pictures to square, I like to frame very carefully while I’m shooting, and I can’t really see the square that well. So for all those reasons I’ve decided to try medium format, with a twin lens reflex. I’ve been losing auctions left and right on ebay and checking out stuff on craigslist and kijiji. So far no camera, but with any luck I’ll have some kind of Yashica Mat soon. They have a waist level viewfinder which reverses the image left to right so that should slow me right down, along with the manual exposure and the possibility of not even having a meter in camera. No doubt I will experience extreme frustration in the beginning, but hopefully I’ll get through it and my photography will improve.

I promised a while back that I’d give details about the Mother/mother- exhibit and opening reception when I had them, and I’ve had them for a while. The exhibition opens on Dec. 2, and the opening reception is on Dec. 3. I believe it will be up for the month of December. I’m still trying to decide what we’ll do. Originally I’d planned to go up with my whole family but now that I’ve looked into prices, I’m not sure. I find it slightly horrifying that a few nights in NYC will cost at least as much as a week or two in the Dominican Republic, to which my sister and her family just moved last week. So now I’m wondering if perhaps it makes sense for me to find a friend to travel with. I’m even considering not going (I’d feel out of place! What would I wear?! I’d have to pretend I’m smart and gregarious!), but I’d like to meet Jennifer Wroblewski, who’s curating the show and who has been very supportive of my work. I’d love to experience NYC with my husband, but the idea of leaving our son for a few nights kind of terrifies me. Anyways, I’ll figure out something.

Thanks to that exhibition, another opportunity has opened up. It’s looking like the two pictures that are being included in Mother/mother- will also be included in The M Word: Real Mothers in Contemporary Art. I find this very strange. I’m all for being in a book about real mothers, but me? IN contemporary art? I don’t know… Anyways, you can pre-order the book, which is being published by Demeter Press, a very cool publisher out of York University focused exclusively on motherhood.

I’ve had so many rejections lately that I find I don’t really believe these good bits. But a wise friend reminded me that all arts generate more rejections than acceptances, and you just have to guard the acceptances fiercely, which is easier said than done. But I’ll try.

So that’s all for now.

about South Africa

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

The last time we went to South Africa in January 2007, we decided we would fer sher go back in the first half of 2010. Part of me even hoped we might be go back before 2010 too, but it hasn’t happened. And now 2010 is approaching fast, and I’m starting to think we might not go back for a while more. The trip is just so long and gruelling, and the thought of making it with a 4-year-old makes me want to stay home. It’s also expensive, and now that I’ve been entertaining thoughts of going back to school, and now that my sister and her family are moving to the Dominican Republic for three years, I’m starting to wonder when we might actually get back to SA. And that makes me very sad.

Last weekend we watched District 9. It was such a treat to hear all the authentic South African accents, and see the real landscape around Johannesburg. I read a review that talked about how the movie is an allegory for apartheid, or the holocaust or any other major oppression in history. But I think it’s more specific than that. It seems very much set in post-apartheid South Africa, although there are certainly A LOT of echoes from apartheid. (The title itself is a reference to District Six, which was once a thriving multi-cultural neighbourhood in Cape Town, until the Group Areas Act designated it as whites-only, and all the buildings that belonged to non-whites were razed, and all the non-whites were moved elsewhere. The area pretty much remained a wasteland, although the government is building new houses there.) Also, there were just so many South Africanisms and inside jokes – so my husband told me because a lot of them went over my head – that I think although the movie has wide appeal, it’s really directed at South Africans.

A few weeks ago at the uni library, I found some books on David Goldblatt’s photography, which I first saw in the South African National Gallery in Cape Town. One of his colour shots was hanging, of a domestic worker sitting in her employer’s house, and I just loved it.

Anyways, one of the books, David Goldblatt: Fifty-One Years, features an interview with him, critical essays about his work, other essays about South African arts generally, and of course his photos. Lots and lots of his photos. This particular quote no doubt influenced my experience of District 9:

“After about 1968, I realized that the kind of work I was doing was so internal to South Africa, so steeped in our obsessions and perversions, that without involved explanations it meant very little to outsiders. My dialogue, to the extent that it went beyond myself, was with fellow South Africans. My dispassion was an attitude in which I tried to avoid easy judgements. This resulted in a photography that appeared to be disengaged and apolitical, but which was in fact the opposite.”

Here are some more quotes from the interview that are still rolling around in my head:

On living in apartheid:

“[...] over time it grew evident that the real conflict was [...] how to square one’s conscience with being a white in this country. This was not hair-splitting. It was a moral dilemma that arose in numerous ways in daily life. Was one to become an activist, a saboteur, a worker in the underground? I had neither the conviction nor the guts for that. [...] Once I became seriously engaged in it, photography became my way of being politically active. It was a political act. I must be careful to tell you, though, that I would not allow my photographs to be used for political purposes. [...] I came to learn that the messages that editors, propagandists, and political bodies wished to attach to my pictures rarely corresponded with my own concerns. I took these photographs because I was engaged in a dialogue – between the subject and me.”

On his approach to photography

“I came to realize that I was not cut out for news work. Editors wanted photographs of events, and I saw that as a photographer I wasn’t all that interested in events. I was and am far more engaged by the states of being that lead to events, by the conditions of society rather than the climactic outcomes of those conditions.”

“My photography became a political inquiry, an interest in real things. My concern was not to make “interesting photographs” but to probe the immediate world I lived in.”

“Long ago I tried to make pictures like those that came from Europe, soft and beautifully modulated. It used to break my heart – I could never get my pictures to look like that. Then, in 1961, I realized that it had to do with light. We have a lot of it in South Africa, and it is often sharp and harsh. So instead of fighting our light, I began to enjoy it and to work with it. I photographed from within rather than as if I were visiting from somewhere else.

“At the same time, my work became more oblique. I sought out irony and tried to impregnate pictures with a sense of it, for it often revealed the nuances and complexities of our life in South Africa.”

More on apartheid and his sense of place

“It was impossible to live in this country and be separate from the system. You couldn’t do it. The system penetrated every aspect of life here. [...] You were complicit simply by being here. By breathing the air. In living ordinary decent lives, paying the rent, sending kids to school, taking jobs, catching trains, blacks were complicit in their own oppression, and whites, even if they opposed the system, by living within it were complicit in the subjection of blacks. Unless, that is, they were activists prepared to go to prison and die for their beliefs.”

And finally, he had some comments about his methods. He says this about working in Soweto during apartheid: “A white mane in those places at the time attracted a great deal of attention, from both the populace and the security police. I developed an approach that usually disarmed both. I unambiguously declared my presence and purpose, which was to photograph ordinary life. I adopted a slow and formal photography, no shooting from the hip, the camera invariably on a tripod, everything upfront and transparent. Ordinary onlookers soon got bored, while the police seemed not to know what to make of the sheer banality of what I was doing.”

Later on in the book are essays by JM Coetzee and Nadine Gordimer, among others. Nadine Gordimer went out with Goldblatt on some of his shoots and she had this to say: “When one looks at some of the astonishing revelatory Goldblatt photographs it is in immediate response difficult to believe the fact that he never takes photographs of people surreptitiously, except in the anonymity of the crowd. Unthinkable for him to do a Walker Evans, hiding a camera between his coat buttons on a New York subway train. Sometimes when working with him, particularly in the Transkei among rural people, I found myself amazed and humbled by the way in which he would not seize his perceived wonderful moment because the subject whose image presented itself did not want to be photographed. Goldblatt always asked permission, and if he was refused, gave thanks – his respect for the decision – and walked on.

“I saw later, in the evidence of the photographs he did take how superficial as well as ethically doubtful my regret for “missed” images was. I think of the old woman in her mud home; her contemplated grace of ignoring the process of photography she had consented to. Susan Sotag quotes Brassai saying he didn’t want to catch subjects off guard in the hope that something special would be revealed of them. For Goldblatt, like Brassai, that something special in the subject doesn’t have to be caught off guard; if it is there, it is Goldblatt’s challenge to himself to find it even when the subject is “on guard”. He does not use the camera as a licence, freeing the photographer from any responsibility towards the people he photographs.”

Sunday grouch

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

I don’t think I’ve brought my camera to the drop-in since May. Having posted the first edit to my site here, I felt like the work was sort of complete, at least for the moment. I brought my camera with me on Thursday, but I wasn’t planning to shoot, I just happened to have it with me. I was hoping to find some of the people I photographed in May to give them prints, but none of them were around. Apparently Gerry is in Sudbury.

Anyways, I felt like an ass with my big honking camera there, like everyone I wasn’t sitting with was looking at me and imagining all sorts of exploitative intents in my mind. I don’t usually go on Thursdays, and it’s busier and there’s a lot of people who don’t come on the weekend when I usually volunteer. So I felt like an ass.

That’s neither here nor there, except that it felt a lot better being there yesterday. One man used to have his own darkroom and shot with a Rolleiflex, but he lost a lot of his equipment when he landed on the streets. I asked him yesterday if I could photograph him sometime for my project, and he said sure, although he didn’t know why I’d want to. I said, “Why wouldn’t I want to?” and he didn’t have a response to that. When I told him that I would want to publish them in the context of being made there, he confessed that he was actually delighted to be asked. Delighted. That was his word. It’s funny that I feel like such a vulture sometimes, when a lot of people are just happy to be seen.

* * *

This week I went to my uni library again, and I’m so impressed with its collection of photography books. They just acquired Doug Dubois’s All the Days and Nights, which I actually ordered last weekend (it’s on sale for $30 for the hardcover on Amazon.ca – a deal I couldn’t pass up, especially since I’d been scoping it out ever since it was released in June). I picked up Alec Soth’s Sleeping Along the Mississippi, and I can’t stop looking at its pages. The Internet really doesn’t do justice to his work. It occurred to me as I browsed through different photography books at the library that I want to look at photography that keeps me looking. I saw lots of books that had interesting concepts or stories, but when I looked at the pictures, I didn’t want to linger over them. The photos didn’t make me want to keep looking.

* * *

I suspect my photos do not keep people looking. The other day I had a horrible thought. You know how So You Think You Can Dance always features lots of bad auditions by really bad dancers? And sometimes they’re shocked and disbelieving when the judges tell them they suck? Like they truly can’t see the difference between their own dance and that of better dancers? What if that’s my photography? I say this not to fish for compliments – if you complimented my work right now I wouldn’t believe you anyways – but to be honest about the self-doubt I’m feeling. I kind of hate all my pictures.

I found a ray of hope on Nevada Weir’s blog when she outlined the ten stages of a travel photographer’s development. I suspect it can be reasonably generalized to any photographer? Anyways, the ninth stage is when you hate everything you’ve ever done, so fingers crossed I’m on the threshold of some enlightenment or breakthrough.

* * *

Apparently, my judging part is working overtime these days. Photolife magazine published their list of emerging photographers. I got excited at the thought of discovering some Canadian photographers so I bought it. Some of the images grabbed me so I came home and checked out the photographer’s websites. And I was really disappointed. Most of the sites I visited had slick-looking sites, but they were totally unusable. The navigation was impenetrable, they took too long to load, and in one case the only way to see someone’s photography was to click next on each image with no indication of how many pictures there were to get through, or any kind of categories. So when I hit a bunch of work that did nothing for me and bore no resemblance to the work published in the magazine, I just gave up because I couldn’t see any other way around. It just amazes me how many web designers there are out there with absolutely no concern for the user experience. <Ok, end of rant.>

* * *

Oh wait, just one more thing. The other day I was sorting through my pictures of John. I have date with him later today to go to pretty much the diviest bar in town — also the only bar downtown that I never once visited during my uni years — where he occasionally goes for a beer. Anyways, I discovered this picture, which I rejected on the first pass-through, but now I think it’s pretty good.

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I like the little wisp of smoke, the red ember, the outlet coming out of the wall, the box of cereal beside him and the carefully closed bag from the box on the arm of the couch.

I can hear Don Weber’s voice now, “You’re a LOUSY editor.” It wasn’t originally directed at me, but I think it fits. Now how can I learn to be a better editor?

shooting vs editing

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

Tony Fouhse in his post today talked about ways of shooting and editing, and how one influences the other. He concluded that he prefers to shoot a lot and give himself permission to make mistakes, bark up the wrong tree, and edit them out, than to restrict his shooting and show every single frame. I definitely have the same approach.

However, I shoot a bit compulsively; I take the same picture over and over again, almost as a kind of insurance. I do try to move around and explore the subject from many angles, but I suspect it’s all a bit excessive. I’d like to blame digital, but I remember shooting an entire roll of 36 frames in South Africa of exactly the same scene, and not one of them was remotely usable.

For example, I’m working on a series of photographs about John. I think I mentioned him here before? Anyways, back in July he invited me to photograph him while he got a tattoo. I was delighted. And I knew that because this was part of a larger series, I’d probably only end up with one shot in the final edit. So I went and I shot. I shot close to 500 frames, and in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell I was thinking. The thing is, I knew only one frame would end up making it, but I didn’t know which one that would be. Maybe it will come with more experience, but the Decisive Moment doesn’t present itself to me when I’m shooting with trumpets and stars. I’ve had way too many experiences where six months or a year down the road, I find a photo I’d initially labelled as a reject but now discover it’s actually really good. I’d just been too close to the experience of shooting and the expectations I developed in the moment. I’ve managed to narrow it down to 8 frames.

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I’m not sure how I’ll proceed from here, but since I still have more shooting to do with John, I’ll let the project unfold before I get my knickers in too much of a twist.

Image Makers, Image Takers revealed some interesting takes on this issue.

William Eggleston had this to say: “It happens so fast. I compose very quickly and without thinking, but consciously. I take a picture instantly and never more than one. Sometimes I worry about the picture being out of focus, but I take that chance. A long time ago, I would have taken several shots of the same thing, but I realized that I could never decide which one was the best. I thought I was wasting a lot of time looking at these damn near identical pictures. I wanted to discipline myself to take only one picture of something, and if it didn’t work out, that’s just too bad.”

Whereas Tina Barney said, “My theory is, the more pictures you take, the better you get. It’s like a sport. I never wait to get a particular shot because wonderful accidents can happen when you shoot a lot.”

Also, I’ve recently seen some collections with different frames from the same scene or almost the same moment, that I find quite thought-provoking and compelling. The first was in David Goldblatt, Hasselblad Award 2006, which I got from the university library. The book contains several fold-out pages that show three different views of the same scene, and they don’t feel self-indulgent like someone just couldn’t decide at all. Each image adds to the other in a meaningful and important way. Laura Pannack’s series, “grams,”is another example of several shots from the same day and scene.

Nevertheless, I’d like to find a way to be a little more deliberate and sparing in my shooting without closing myself off to the unexpected.

new gallery on my site

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

I’ve added a new gallery to my site. Long-time readers might remember my post about photography and homelessness and postpartum depression, which included a quote from Another Bullshit Night in Suck City:

“Last night Mackie had a la-z-boy set up in Rat Alley, watching a television hotwired into a light pole. My father stepped into Mackie’s living room, checked out a couple minutes of play – can these still be called the glory days of the Bird? Step out of your room, settle into a discarded recliner – are you inside now or out? Position your chair before your television, take your walk, find your coffee, by morning it all will be gone – no inside no outside, no cardboard box no mansion, no birth no death, no container no contained, a Zen koan, a frikkin riddle. A garbage truck hauled the tv away, another will be put out on the sidewalk tonight. But a la-z-boy, my lord, maybe not again in this lifetime.”

That quote has been rattling around my head ever since, and I’ve decided to use it as a statement for this latest collection of images. Together, they make a sort of meditation on the idea of home and the boundary between inside and outside.

* * *

I’ve been reading Henri Cartier-Bresson’s The Mind’s Eye, and he says something that I think is also relevant here:

“I believe that, through the act of living, the discovery of oneself is made concurrently with the discovery of the world around us, which can mold us, but which can also be affected by us. A balance must be established between these two worlds – the one inside us and the one outside us. As the result of a constant reciprocal process, both these worlds come to form a single one. And it is this world that we must communicate.”

* * *

Inside out

what I did on my summer vacation

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

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So last week we went to my parents’ cottage. My brother and his family weren’t able to come after all, so for several days it was just me, my husband, my son, and my parents. Which means I got to read a lot more than I expected. I read Image Makers, Image Takers cover to cover first. It was fascinating to read about the methods, approaches, and philosophies of so many different photographers. Before we went to the cottage I went on an Alec Soth binge, reading his old blog and any interviews I could clap my eyes on. It was on his recommendation that I bought Image Makers, Image Takers, and it was also his recommendation that brought me to Robert Adams’s Beauty in Photography. I just happened to find his later book, Why People Photograph, which I also read at the cottage, and I think I actually like it better than Beauty in Photography. His essay on Paul Strand I found especially illuminating, not just about Strand’s work, but about how to read photographs and what makes great photographs great.

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Back when I first watched The True Meaning of Pictures, I thought that the critics who said that Shelby Lee Adams’s subjects weren’t sophisticated enough to really understand what was happening in the photographs of them were just snobs or assholes. But I’m coming to realize that there are degrees of visual literacy, and mine is deepening.

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I even read some poetry. My mom bought Jeramy Dodds’s Crabwise to the Hounds, which just won a Trillium Book Award and made the shortlist for the Griffin Poetry Prize. I actually have a lame claim to fame with this book, because I went to high school with Jeramy. He even dated one of my very good friends for a couple of years. Another friend from that time read his book a while back and said she’d always known he had the soul of an artist. But I knew no such thing. To me he was kind of intimidating; I had no idea he was interested in reading let alone writing – I thought just liked to get drunk and play mailbox baseball. Anyways, turns out he’s a really good poet. The language is so good and dense that I had to stop and think about each line, and I could only read a poem or two at a time. I meant to bring it home with me, but by the time we left my son had developed a tummy bug, so my packing was rather distracted and I forgot it.

I have to say the vacation had some big ups and downs. My husband lost his wallet in the torrential rains we drove through for two hours before we finally stopped at a Tim Hortons. We realized the next day his wallet must have fell out of his pocket when we ran back to the car. So he had to make all sorts of phone calls and trips into town to deal with that.

On the up side, we got to meet my new nephew, who my sister and her husband adopted in May. He’s 22 months old and utterly charming.

Also, the lake happened to have its annual corn roast and fishing derby, and my son caught his first fish — in fact it tied for first place in the under 6 fun fish category.

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He also ran in the egg and spoon race. And you know how there’s ALWAYS one kid who runs away? That was my kid this year. I was laughing too hard to get a decent picture, but I did manage to squeeze this one off showing one of the organizers in hot pursuit. I’m kinda proud to see him breaking the rules at such a tender age.

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We stayed at my parents’ farm for a night too, which is where I made these next few pictures.

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And now for a few more pics from the cottage:

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nothing like a good library to make your day

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

This morning I went to my local university to find out what would be required to upgrade from my three-year BA in English to an Honours BA in Studio Art. Lately I’ve been feeling like there’s a whole wide world that I’m missing, a sort of lineage and vocabulary that I’ve learned enough to know of its existence, but not enough to know it. You might think that vocabulary doesn’t matter, especially in a visual medium, but I’ve always found that words influence our experience and perception. Sometimes you don’t feel something until you have a word for it. Or you can feel it, but you can’t distinguish it precisely. Or something. Naming is power.

I remember one time last summer at the drop-in, it was hot, and I felt like I was moving through molasses. Everyone else seemed to be moving slowly too. “I’m so lethargic,” I complained. And the other volunteer asked me what that word meant. I said it meant tired, even though I knew it wasn’t really doing the word justice. But I felt so awkward, like my language kept me an outsider. And it kind of does. I still think of that little encounter, mostly with guilty feelings for not letting him in on the nuance of lethargy.

Anyways, I want to learn more about the history of photography and critical ways of talking about it. Especially since I’m thinking about a project on suburbia, I figure it might be a good thing for me to know what work has come before me on the subject. So that is why I found myself at the university.

This need for knowledge also had me looking for ways to get books from the university library, and I discovered that alumni can get a free alumni card and borrow up to 20 books for two weeks at a time. So I got my card today and visited the library and even though it’s been almost a decade, I remembered exactly where the photography section was. It was kind of surreal walking among the stacks after so long. And like many places I return to have a long absence, it has its own smell, which although I didn’t notice it before today, I know hasn’t changed. I used to write poems when I was younger, and lately I’ve been feeling like that was good training for photography. Both art forms require you to really see. Anyways, walking through the library I remembered a poem I wrote that was actually published, a poem called “The Library” that when I read it last summer I decided was nonsense because I couldn’t make sense of it, but today, it made sense. So many rows upon rows of books, they really muffle the sound.

Anyways, the photography section is delightful. Barely a Digital Photography for Dummies or Catalogue of Dogs to be seen. I picked up Robert Adams’s Beauty in Photography, and devoured it this afternoon. Incidentally, one of the first essays talked about the importance of freshness in art and the resulting necessity of knowing who’s come before to create that freshness.

After dinner tonight, I devoured Charles Traub’s In the Still Life while my son dug nearby in the sand. I both loved and hated that he didn’t display captions with each image. It made me look longer and harder at each one though, and that’s always a good thing.

I also got Why People Photograph, also by Robert Adams, which I’ll take to the cottage next week. (Mind you, it’s a two-bedroom cottage that will be housing 8 adults and 6 kids, so it’s possible I may not be able to read it.) And finally, I’m excited to have discovered Thomas Daniel, with the catalogue to his exhibition Into My Eyes. I haven’t read it yet, but glancing through it at the library I was really taken with his portraits, and the obvious respect he has for the people he photographs.

All in all, it was a good day. And now it’s time for So You Think You Can Dance. Perfect.

big announcement

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

The blog has been pretty quiet for the last several months because I’ve been working on lots of stuff in the background. One of those things is a book, which I’m excited to officially launch today. Two-Powered: A Diary of Motherhood and Apple Pie combines words and images I created during the first two years of my son’s life. I was also granted permission to include a beautiful poem by Adrienne Rich, a poem I discovered during the same time period.

I thought about searching for a publisher for the book, but I decided to self-publish for a number of reasons. The biggest of which is that I have no patience. I’m guessing it would take at least a year to get to print, and possibly much, much longer. And I’m more into making stuff than selling or pitching stuff.

This book doesn’t fit easily into a specific genre – is it a momoir or a photography book? I don’t know. I’ve read that genre-bending books are considerably less attractive to publishers, who need to figure out how to market their books. If there isn’t a tidy demographic to market to, it’s a much riskier venture. I thought about trying for photography publishers, who could foot the bill for producing it in fantastic quality, but these really aren’t fine art images. They’re not about beautiful colour or good tonal ranges; the digital files themselves aren’t particularly high quality either – some of them I even made on my husband’s crappy little point-and-shoot.

The bottom line is that I really feel the collection contains a message that needs to get out sooner than later. So I decided to publish it on demand through lulu.com.

I think it’s very difficult to mother in a culture that has no space to admit real ambivalence into the discourse. When my mom read my book, she said, “Wow, you were in a real depression.” But I don’t believe I was. I don’t think it was pathological at all – I think it’s normal to be ambivalent as a mother, and healthy to acknowledge that it’s really f-ing hard, especially in the first two years. Can you think of anything in which you have a bigger stake than in the growth and well-being of the most important and helpless person you’ve ever had the fortune to know?

My husband developed a website to showcase the content of the book. We still have to put a link to it on my home page, but in the meantime, you can get there from here. I thought about only including the first 15 images to encourage people to buy the book, but I felt that if my goal was to speak through this cultural silence, I should my money where my mouth is and put it all out there. If you do buy the book, you do get treated to Adrienne Rich’s wonderful poem, which isn’t on the site.

So there. It’s done, it’s out there. Wow does this ever feel anti-climactic.

Check it out here.

quotes from Annie Leibovitz

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

This is probably not something I should admit here, but I didn’t really know who Annie Leibovitz is until that video of her shooting the Queen made the rounds on the web a while back (just google it if you’re interested). I’d heard her name of course, but when I heard it, my brain exchanged her name with Anne Geddes and made me cringe involuntarily. But I know very well who she is now, and I’ve seen enough of her pictures to know that it bears not even the slightest resemblance to the babies in pea suits pictures.

Last weekend I picked up Annie Leibovitz’s At Work, and I’m quite enjoying it. Halfway in, here are a few things that I’d like to share:

“I was in awe of Robert Frank. Here was the great master. I couldn’t believe that I was able to watch him work for a few days, that I was actually in the room where Robert Frank was loading his camera. He picked up my camera once. I was terrified. He held it. It was like being with God. He said to me, ‘You can’t get every picture.’ That was comforting advice. You do miss things. [...] Robert Frank didn’t seem to be missing anything, though. He was tireless. He never stopped working.”

“I wasn’t thinking about any of this at the time, of course. I was just throwing up a light haphazardly and hoping the picture would come out.”

“It was a popular picture, and it broke ground, but I don’t think it’s a good photograph per se. It’s a magazine cover. [...] There are different criteria for magazine covers. They’re simple. The addition of type doesn’t destroy them. Sometimes they even need type. My best photographs are inside the magazine.”

“I’m always perplexed when people say that a photograph has captured someone. A photograph is just a tiny slice of a subject. A piece of them in a moment. It seems presumptuous to think you can get more than that.”

copyright , 2008
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